SGSG: Self-Love Is the New #RelationshipGoals

'i love myself.' the quietest. the simplest. most powerful. revolution. ever.

                                                                           -Nayyirah Waheed

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It sounds so simple, but in a world of "keeping up with the Joneses" and self-value being attached to your relationship status, falling in love with yourself can be radical.

-Jasmine, #MHOF

If you want to incite a revolutionary change in the way you are loved and the way you receive love: love yourself, first. It sounds so simple, but in a world of "keeping up with the Joneses" and self-value being attached to your relationship status, falling in love with yourself can be radical.

There has been a wave of social media gurus preaching self-care and self-love. We all know the old adage, " you must love yourself before you can love someone else." While this is true, let's take away the idea of someone else. You must love yourself. Period. 

A few days ago, I posted this image on my Instagram account:

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A lot of my women followers were engaged with this particular post. I thought to myself, how many women out there, with all the constant preaching of self-love and self-care, still need a constant reminder to love themselves? And, why? Then, I realized that I needed to do a little introspective thinking because I posted it and I clearly needed the reminder.

 
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Some of the men who I've dated have been perfectly fine humans, but after dating myself last year I've really honed in on what makes me happy, what makes me blush, and what turns me off.

-Jasmine, #MHOF

Last year, I unassumingly branded myself as the "quintessential single girl" when I started my Single Girl's Survival Guide series. While I've had my spout of relationships here and there, I ground my identity in my singleness. Even, with all of this, I need a reminder that "self-love is the new #relationshipgoals." Here's why: After every dating experience, I feel guilty for choosing myself over the guy. Some of the men who I've dated have been perfectly fine humans, but after dating myself last year I've really honed in on what makes me happy, what makes me blush, and what turns me off.  

There's a quote by my favorite poet Warsan Shire; she writes, "My alone feels so good, I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude." This always relieves me of that false guiltiness after choosing to invest in my relationship with myself over another. I've said this before and I'll say this again. I have to enjoy the time with myself because I'm the person who I will truly spend the rest of my life with--husband, kids and all. 

This post is strictly for my babes that need a little relief from that guiltiness too. Hun, that gut feeling that tells you this isn't right, listen to it. When you've learned how to give yourself butterflies in your own stomach, you'll be able to distinguish if that guy is giving you butterflies or an ulcer. Well, it may not be that dramatic, but you need to understand this : choose a relationship with yourself first, always. Self-love is revolutionary and evolutionary. I am learning to nurture a relationship with myself in phases. First, it was a reaction to heartbreak. Next, I started to enjoy my alone time. Now, I am trying to mirror the type of love I expect to feel from others; i.e. forgiveness, compassion, and vulnerability. 

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Self-love is revolutionary and evolutionary.

-Jasmine, #MHOF

The one constant in my life will always be me and therefore, it is only right to give myself the best relationship possible. 


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What does self-love mean to you? Are you currently struggling with choosing yourself first? Have you been able to overcome the guiltiness assigned to self-love? Share your comments and feedback below.